The Muse
The Muse
Reach me:
Rite Of Passage
Famous Last Words
The Extended
Famous Last Words
In every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye
was a mistake too great to hide
By Myself
Friday, 15 January 2010
and as every passing day goes by, the tendrils grow deeper within my thoughts.
Where once I see hope, now I see uncertainty.
Where once I see light, now I see murky cloudiness.
I hide behind it all, putting up a facade, smiling and laughing as I go along.
But the cracks have shown.
In fact, it has always been there, yet I was the one who turned away from it.
Gone were the days where I feel invincible, where problems in life were mere irritants.
Where I feel as if nothing can ever slow me down.
Ahhh, the folly of being young. To think that you're unbreakable. To laugh at others when they are down.
Then life smacks you hard in the face.
No longer can I make decisions in an impulse unlike last time where I know I am able to handle any consequences that comes my way.
The what-ifs surrounds my thinking now whenever I want to make a step. Its like taking two steps forward but three steps back. Point is, I'm moving backwards, not forwards.
Faan called this 'maturity'. Something which he saw developing within me from the start of Exco 35th to this fully developed state now.
But I don't know. Is being uncertain about everything being mature? Is needing assurance from the people around you, moreover the ones you love most, being mature?
Because the way I see it I'm dropping down into an abyss, with not much footholds as I had last time. And perhaps that is why I'm holding on desperately to the ones that I still have.
What do I do to ignore what's behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride away from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I let it go and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Cause I cant hold when I'm strecthed so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself
If I turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they'll
Take from me till everything is gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer
Where once I see hope, now I see uncertainty.
Where once I see light, now I see murky cloudiness.
I hide behind it all, putting up a facade, smiling and laughing as I go along.
But the cracks have shown.
In fact, it has always been there, yet I was the one who turned away from it.
Gone were the days where I feel invincible, where problems in life were mere irritants.
Where I feel as if nothing can ever slow me down.
Ahhh, the folly of being young. To think that you're unbreakable. To laugh at others when they are down.
Then life smacks you hard in the face.
No longer can I make decisions in an impulse unlike last time where I know I am able to handle any consequences that comes my way.
The what-ifs surrounds my thinking now whenever I want to make a step. Its like taking two steps forward but three steps back. Point is, I'm moving backwards, not forwards.
Faan called this 'maturity'. Something which he saw developing within me from the start of Exco 35th to this fully developed state now.
But I don't know. Is being uncertain about everything being mature? Is needing assurance from the people around you, moreover the ones you love most, being mature?
Because the way I see it I'm dropping down into an abyss, with not much footholds as I had last time. And perhaps that is why I'm holding on desperately to the ones that I still have.
What do I do to ignore what's behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride away from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I let it go and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Cause I cant hold when I'm strecthed so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself
If I turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they'll
Take from me till everything is gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer