The Muse
The Muse
Reach me:
Rite Of Passage
Famous Last Words
The Extended
Famous Last Words
In every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye
was a mistake too great to hide
Musings
Monday, 19 October 2009
So I was in the bus early today, coming back from SP after meeting habibati there for a while and suddenly somehow I remembered a certain quote someone said of me a few years back
"Sufyan the King Turtle. Small man, big heart...and at times big jackass also."
I wasn't quite sure who said it but if memory serves me right, it was Epin during Kem Ilusi when they announced the Best Faci award. Why King Turtle was because I was the facilitator for Kasturi Turtle, the green group for that aforementioned camp.
I don't know why that quote suddenly came to me but after that, my head was crowded with an overflow of thoughts and needless to say, I entered my deep-thinking mode
First and foremost that came to my mind was the issue of perceptions and thoughts towards myself. Or rather, external thoughts toward myself, in the context of what others see me as.
Those who know me long and well enough knows that I'm not one of those people who would go out of their way to please the masses. Or to put it bluntly, I'm someone who doesn't put too much to other's perceptions of me, or whatever it is they label me to be.
You can try to please as many people as you can, try to be the darling of everyone's eyes. But point is, there will come a time in which you stop putting too much into what others perceive you be. Simply because that is what OTHERS perceive you be. But whether or not you are really that kind of person, its up to yourself.
At times, the only reason why people tend to point out other's insecurities was because they themselves are insecure. To cover up for it, they point to others, in hope that by doing that, attention is diverted to other people instead.
It is good though, at times to please people, but not to the point of sucking up. Because at times, not even bothering to please people will make a bigger issue of the picture. But we have to be reminded of this. It is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone. Point of fact. No running away from it. I believe that either the Prophet or Ali Bin Abu Talib said the same quote, I can't be too sure of that.
Case in point, look no further than our Prophet himself S.A.W, the greatest role model anyone could have, the greatest Human ever to walk on this Earth. Even he himself could not please everyone, despite his greatness. Even up till now, there are alot of kafirun out there still tarnishing his good name, naudzubillah minzaliq.
To please everyone, is walking on the path to failure. Because you are walking on the path of impossibility. And even worse, you are making yourself into what others want you to be, not what you actually are.
Thats the harsh reality of it all. Different people have different perceptions, different way of thinking, different mindsets. What some people perceive as good, others will perceive as bad. Thats the reality of it. Example:
You walk past a beggar and decided to give her some money, from the goodness of your heart, Ikhlas. Some people saw and the first thought that came to mind was, Alhamdulillah, baik hati orang ni kasi sedekah. Another group of people saw and their first thought was, Wah kerek, banyak duit nak tunjukkan uh tu.
Astargfirullah, but yes, there are people like that. But what I am trying to say is, YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE. Even when your intention is good, is ikhlas, there are still some who will think otherwise.
And that comes to this. At the final stage, what matters most is your NIAT. In the case of the example I gave above, you give with ikhlas, what's your niat? For Him. Then, to hell with what people say. Because in the long run, its between you and Him. Not you and the rest. They can say what they want to say, but ultimately, it is Him who knows of your true intention.
Some people say, if so make your intentions known. So what do you expect, to tell the whole world that you're giving sedekah to that beggar out of the goodness of your heart? When the Prophet himself had said that give charity such as that your left hand does not know of what your right hand has given.
Issue of niat has been one of the hotly debated topics among the Muslim scholars ever since the Khulfah Rashidun. Many questions have arised regarding it. Many have called others heretics or blasphemy. But to me, its clear cut.
Niat is between the individual and God. No other person knows about it (unless he makes it known) and thus no one has the right to second-guess another's intentions. Some people even say that second-guessing another person's intention is committing a minor syirik as you are trying to do something that only God can. I don't know about that, frankly, it sounds abit too Wahabbi-ish to me.
But even then, there's a line that I draw regarding Niat. (*Take note that this is my opinion ONLY*)
Lets say, if what you do is HARAM, then your niat, no matter how good it is, IT IS STILL HARAM.
For example,
Two days ago, my cousin informed me of a job vacancy being a waiter in some banquet or something. Pay is good, 7-8 per hour, which is high for a part-time job. But something clicked in me and I asked if beer or other alcoholic drinks will be served. The moment he said yes, I know where I stand. No. This is not a job for me. True, I do need the cash to further my studies and not be a burden to abah, but I have my stand and I'm sticking to it. With reference to this hadith:
Another example would be in the case:
We live in a community. A community in which is a melting pot of different mindsets, different ideals, different outlooks. And different perceptions. More often than not, one collides with the other. More often than not, one perception is in conflict with the other.
In the early years of Islam, it is the same. There are conflicts in ideals but the genius that is the Prophet instilled one very important point in each and every Muslim's head at that time and that is, Diversity in Unity. Or to put it simply, tolerance for each and every person's perceptions. Because the Prophet is fully aware that everyone's perceptions differs, so that is what he instilled in them, tolerance.
But like everything else, things have been going on a downturn. Gone are the days where anyone could speak their mind in a certain matter and not be looked down upon by the other members. Gone are the days where someone could do something with ikhlas without others trying to second-guess their intentions.
These days, its commonplace to find others talking about a certain someone behind their backs, despite words from the Prophet prohibiting it so.
You might say that your niat in doing so is to have that person realise his doings. But why aren't you telling it straight to that person and instead talking behind his back? Oh, you're afraid of hurting him.
Hmms. I want to see the same care and concern you will give that person when during the Day comes, you'll be found guilty of slander or backbiting. Oh wait, of course not. You'll be too busy trying to save your own skin.
Hadith narrates:
Point is, if you have some constructive criticism to give someone, give it straight to that person. Don't gang up together behind his back and talk about it. Like the hadith above narrates, even though what you're saying might be right, it is still slander.
And one last thing, before you even think of imposing your perception on how someone would be, remind yourself first, how would YOU like it if people impose their perceptions on you? Living in a society, we have to be tolerant. Everyone has their own personal perceptions. Live with it.
No one person can dictate the status quo. Why? Because the status quo is the Quran and the Sunnah. Thats the true status quo that we must live with. Now and till the end.
And last I checked, backbiting was never a part of that status quo
=)
This post is, first and foremost, a reminder to myself. Because I am human and I am prone to doing this mistakes. Furthermore, this post has nothing to do with anyone, anything or any society in particular. But still, I leave it up to your own perceptions about it.
Wallahuakhlam. He knows best.
on another note:
It takes a minute to like someone
It takes an hour to be infatuated
It takes days to fall in love
It takes weeks to make sure your intention is true
It takes months to get it right
But somehow...
It takes just a moment to turn away from everything
It takes just a second to change that intention to something false
It takes another second more to deviate from His Path
And forget that it is Him that allows us to walk this path
Let us, in every night prostrate before Him in reverence to everything that has transpired
the good, the bad. Everything. Because everything happens for a reason
and everything happens ultimately for one purpose, to get us closer to Him.
and also remind ourselves.
Whatever happened happened and could not have possibly happened any other way.
Fi Amanillah
Salam alaik.
"Sufyan the King Turtle. Small man, big heart...and at times big jackass also."
I wasn't quite sure who said it but if memory serves me right, it was Epin during Kem Ilusi when they announced the Best Faci award. Why King Turtle was because I was the facilitator for Kasturi Turtle, the green group for that aforementioned camp.
I don't know why that quote suddenly came to me but after that, my head was crowded with an overflow of thoughts and needless to say, I entered my deep-thinking mode
First and foremost that came to my mind was the issue of perceptions and thoughts towards myself. Or rather, external thoughts toward myself, in the context of what others see me as.
Those who know me long and well enough knows that I'm not one of those people who would go out of their way to please the masses. Or to put it bluntly, I'm someone who doesn't put too much to other's perceptions of me, or whatever it is they label me to be.
You can try to please as many people as you can, try to be the darling of everyone's eyes. But point is, there will come a time in which you stop putting too much into what others perceive you be. Simply because that is what OTHERS perceive you be. But whether or not you are really that kind of person, its up to yourself.
At times, the only reason why people tend to point out other's insecurities was because they themselves are insecure. To cover up for it, they point to others, in hope that by doing that, attention is diverted to other people instead.
It is good though, at times to please people, but not to the point of sucking up. Because at times, not even bothering to please people will make a bigger issue of the picture. But we have to be reminded of this. It is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to please everyone. Point of fact. No running away from it. I believe that either the Prophet or Ali Bin Abu Talib said the same quote, I can't be too sure of that.
Case in point, look no further than our Prophet himself S.A.W, the greatest role model anyone could have, the greatest Human ever to walk on this Earth. Even he himself could not please everyone, despite his greatness. Even up till now, there are alot of kafirun out there still tarnishing his good name, naudzubillah minzaliq.
To please everyone, is walking on the path to failure. Because you are walking on the path of impossibility. And even worse, you are making yourself into what others want you to be, not what you actually are.
Thats the harsh reality of it all. Different people have different perceptions, different way of thinking, different mindsets. What some people perceive as good, others will perceive as bad. Thats the reality of it. Example:
You walk past a beggar and decided to give her some money, from the goodness of your heart, Ikhlas. Some people saw and the first thought that came to mind was, Alhamdulillah, baik hati orang ni kasi sedekah. Another group of people saw and their first thought was, Wah kerek, banyak duit nak tunjukkan uh tu.
Astargfirullah, but yes, there are people like that. But what I am trying to say is, YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE. Even when your intention is good, is ikhlas, there are still some who will think otherwise.
And that comes to this. At the final stage, what matters most is your NIAT. In the case of the example I gave above, you give with ikhlas, what's your niat? For Him. Then, to hell with what people say. Because in the long run, its between you and Him. Not you and the rest. They can say what they want to say, but ultimately, it is Him who knows of your true intention.
Some people say, if so make your intentions known. So what do you expect, to tell the whole world that you're giving sedekah to that beggar out of the goodness of your heart? When the Prophet himself had said that give charity such as that your left hand does not know of what your right hand has given.
Issue of niat has been one of the hotly debated topics among the Muslim scholars ever since the Khulfah Rashidun. Many questions have arised regarding it. Many have called others heretics or blasphemy. But to me, its clear cut.
Niat is between the individual and God. No other person knows about it (unless he makes it known) and thus no one has the right to second-guess another's intentions. Some people even say that second-guessing another person's intention is committing a minor syirik as you are trying to do something that only God can. I don't know about that, frankly, it sounds abit too Wahabbi-ish to me.
But even then, there's a line that I draw regarding Niat. (*Take note that this is my opinion ONLY*)
Lets say, if what you do is HARAM, then your niat, no matter how good it is, IT IS STILL HARAM.
For example,
Two days ago, my cousin informed me of a job vacancy being a waiter in some banquet or something. Pay is good, 7-8 per hour, which is high for a part-time job. But something clicked in me and I asked if beer or other alcoholic drinks will be served. The moment he said yes, I know where I stand. No. This is not a job for me. True, I do need the cash to further my studies and not be a burden to abah, but I have my stand and I'm sticking to it. With reference to this hadith:
It was reported by Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
"God’s curse falls on ten groups of people who deal with alcohol. The one who distills it, the one for whom it has been distilled, the one who drinks it, the one who transports it, the one to who it has been brought, the one whom serves it, the one who sells it, the one who utilizes money from it, the one who buys it and the one who buys it for someone else."
- According to Sunan Ibn-I-Majah Volume 3, Book of Intoxicants, Chapter 30 Hadith No. 3380
as it was written, even the person who serves it is in sin. As it is haram, most likely the money that is derived from it is haram as well but wallahuakhlam, He knows best. As for me, I'd rather play safe for this case.Another example would be in the case:
We live in a community. A community in which is a melting pot of different mindsets, different ideals, different outlooks. And different perceptions. More often than not, one collides with the other. More often than not, one perception is in conflict with the other.
In the early years of Islam, it is the same. There are conflicts in ideals but the genius that is the Prophet instilled one very important point in each and every Muslim's head at that time and that is, Diversity in Unity. Or to put it simply, tolerance for each and every person's perceptions. Because the Prophet is fully aware that everyone's perceptions differs, so that is what he instilled in them, tolerance.
But like everything else, things have been going on a downturn. Gone are the days where anyone could speak their mind in a certain matter and not be looked down upon by the other members. Gone are the days where someone could do something with ikhlas without others trying to second-guess their intentions.
These days, its commonplace to find others talking about a certain someone behind their backs, despite words from the Prophet prohibiting it so.
You might say that your niat in doing so is to have that person realise his doings. But why aren't you telling it straight to that person and instead talking behind his back? Oh, you're afraid of hurting him.
Hmms. I want to see the same care and concern you will give that person when during the Day comes, you'll be found guilty of slander or backbiting. Oh wait, of course not. You'll be too busy trying to save your own skin.
Hadith narrates:
"And follow not (O man, i.e., say not or do not or witness not) that of which you have no knowledge. Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those ones will be questioned (by Allah).'' (17:36)
1523. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Do you know what is backbiting?'' The Companions said: "Allah and His Messenger know better.'' Thereupon he said, "Backbiting is talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which he dislikes.'' It was said to him: "What if my (Muslim) brother is as I say.'' He said, "If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting; but if that is not in him, that is slandering.''
[Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith elaborates the meaning of backbiting and calumny and points out the difference between the two along with the evils of each one of them. Both these evils are mischief of the tongue and entail great troubles. May Allah save us from both.
1521. Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, "When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: `Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of what you do) if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked.'''
[At-Tirmidhi].
Commentary: This Hadith shows the importance of guarding one's tongue against that which is prohibited. Even the slightest carelessness on the part of the tongue can make all the organs suffer for it.
Point is, if you have some constructive criticism to give someone, give it straight to that person. Don't gang up together behind his back and talk about it. Like the hadith above narrates, even though what you're saying might be right, it is still slander.
And one last thing, before you even think of imposing your perception on how someone would be, remind yourself first, how would YOU like it if people impose their perceptions on you? Living in a society, we have to be tolerant. Everyone has their own personal perceptions. Live with it.
No one person can dictate the status quo. Why? Because the status quo is the Quran and the Sunnah. Thats the true status quo that we must live with. Now and till the end.
And last I checked, backbiting was never a part of that status quo
=)
This post is, first and foremost, a reminder to myself. Because I am human and I am prone to doing this mistakes. Furthermore, this post has nothing to do with anyone, anything or any society in particular. But still, I leave it up to your own perceptions about it.
Wallahuakhlam. He knows best.
on another note:
It takes a minute to like someone
It takes an hour to be infatuated
It takes days to fall in love
It takes weeks to make sure your intention is true
It takes months to get it right
But somehow...
It takes just a moment to turn away from everything
It takes just a second to change that intention to something false
It takes another second more to deviate from His Path
And forget that it is Him that allows us to walk this path
Let us, in every night prostrate before Him in reverence to everything that has transpired
the good, the bad. Everything. Because everything happens for a reason
and everything happens ultimately for one purpose, to get us closer to Him.
and also remind ourselves.
Whatever happened happened and could not have possibly happened any other way.
Fi Amanillah
Salam alaik.