Just when you thought that you had lost them all...


Just when you thought that you are finally alone in this...


They came back.


Granted, they came back not at the moment of your desperate need, but still they came back.

At the time when all you need is a listening ear; they came.

Thank you. Thank you.

We've been through alot together. We've seen the organisation at its peak. We've seen it at its lowest. Some of us even had played a pivotal part in the turn of events. When I look back, I remember my disappointment when you turned your back on the organisation. When you walked away, its as if a part of me has left. Somehow, I think Faan feels the same way too.

But I understand. I understand the need for you to walk away. The talkings have became endless, more unfounded and accusing every passing day. You can choose to react in the same manner, but you had not wanted to fight fire with fire. I understand and admire your decision to walk away. One by one walked away. I watched in helplessness as this organisation becomes a shadow of how it was. I was sorely tempted to join you but I couldn't. I blame myself partly for what had transpired, for I believed that I could have done better in my capacity. I chose to stay because of my allegiance to the organisation. But I never once turned my back on you. And you never once turned your back on me.

iKem came and not only one but all of you answered my rallying call. I was touched beyond words. You went beyond the call of duty. Despite often being used as surplus manpower, you sticked by your assigned duties, grumbling at times yet still going forth. Again, I was touched. That was when I learnt what loyalty means. What brotherhood means. And that was why after the camp, I broke down. For its with you that my heart truly lies.

But yet, after that I was given one of the biggest responsibilities in the organisation. Again, because of my allegiance to the organisation, I chose to stay. My heart yearns for the day that you will return back to the fold but it yearns for naught. And soon, we drifted, only occassionally coming across each other's paths. And before long, you were nothing but a speck of black in the distance.



But yesterday...

It was a night of reconciliations. A night where the prodigal sons came together and talk, reflect and realise that however alone that we think we are, we always have each other. Thank you for hearing me out. For giving the reprieve I needed for so long. Thank you.For once, I see things clearly again. =)




"In your hand you now hold the most radiant, delicate blossoming flower. Hold it too tightly and it'll crumble. Hold it too loosely and it'll fly away. I don't envy your position, where every step you take might have the potential to have drastic effects on the future, be it good or bad. Its a big risk you're taking here. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Have you had someone whom means so much to you that for the first time in your life, you're actually scared of taking the step because you are too afraid that you might lose her? Yes brother, I AM SCARED, you heard that right. I might take the wrong step, I might make the right one, but who's to say? The future is not for us to see. Its for us to live it. Risks. Everything we do in life involves risks. This is no different. The stakes are much higher, I have alot to lose. But I have alot more to gain. If I were to fall, I would fall knowing that I tried my best, that I gave my all, rather than having to stand there thinking of the 'what ifs' and 'could haves' because I was too scared to take the risk. Is it worth taking the risk? I'd say yes. With all my heart."