I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,

I'll sing along,
with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy

I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so over dosed on apathy burnt out on sympathy

Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day
Self deprication seems okay
I never thought I'd make it anyway..



The time has come again

I had known that the ceasefire is only temporary

for its the nature of the two essence to vie for supremacy of outspoken thoughts.

Yes.

My mind and my heart is once again at war


Weird as it is, I've always seen my heart as the sanguine part of me while my mind is the phlegmatic part.

Outspoken and prone to rash decisions, the heart is passionate at best, uncaring at its worst.

Calculating and analytic , the mind is not prone to succumbing to feelings as decisions were made by careful rational thought rather than by flashes of emotions.

And whenever these two clashes, it is my mental being that suffers the worst.


How many times have I managed to catch and stop myself from uttering out harsh words designed to hurt rather than emphasise?

How many times that I have failed in doing so and along the way, hurt others and myself in the process?

How many times have I waited too long, being too patient and ignorant towards whats around me even though they are all tumbling down?


The heart broken as it is yearns for something more. Something which was lost not by its doing, but of the mind's design. The heart often hides behind the pretense of a facade. Lying to itself that everything is alright up to a point that it actually believes the lie.

But when the facade falls, the heart is exposed to the truth. As the pretenses fall like the lies that they are, the truth is brought to light and the heart rebels at first...before slowly accepting the truth. As it accepts, it strikes back at its sworn enemy...the mind.

The mind have been languishing after it had made the decision in which had caused the heart to be broken. It had thought by doing so, it has negated the the effects, but in actual fact, it had only caused even more questions.

The heart's strike came unprepared for the mind. It was taken aback badly by it, left reeling in amazement and wonderment. But in all essence, in confusion. It took its time, gathering itself before thinking thoroughly and choosing its plan of action. When the time comes, it shoots back the heart with statements of why and why nots...of what and what ifs...

Such is the nature of the war between the two that it is my mental being that is left barren.

Or to simply say it

Right now, I'm falling for someone I shouldn't have.


My instincts are cold-blooded hate
To you I'm the bearer of Fate