I am not the man I used to be

I'm just a mere shadow of it


something in me issn't right

something in me decided to give

something in me lost the spark


Weight of responsibilities?
or
this war between my mind and heart is finally taking its toll?

I don't know.


But I had made too many rash decisions.
I have spoken too many harsh words borne out of impulse rather than rational thought.

I've pushed too many people away, withdrawing upon myself
Its time I checked my inflated ego
and come to the realisation that I'm not alone in this.

That this war is not one that I will fight alone.
That I have allies in this.

Perhaps it is the first time that I had people that I can go to for solace.
Yes, I had always been a loner.
Someone who fights his own battles
and falls at his own accord.

A man who pushes others away for he prefers quiet tranquility rather than rousing absurdity
A man who prefers to observe others silently, tactically rather than upfront and uncovered
A man who prefers to walk the path alone rather than with company

A natural born phlegmatic nurtured by surroundings and circumstances that dictate to be a sanguine

its time I look deep in my heart and end this war

I want to be ME again