You know as people say..

Sometimes you just have to do for the greater good.

It might hurt others. But what use is there to holding on to something that will detriment the other party more as time goes?

No


Not for me.


If it hurts me now, so be it. i wont let the pain be felt to others around me too.

I revel in pain.


No, please dont think that I'm some emo fuck who cuts himself every other day and loves it.

What i meant was pain is what makes me sure that I'm still alive.

I've learnt to embrace pain, to make it my ally.

Pain can be used as a fuel, added to your adrenaline to push yourself further.

I know not pain. For pain is my ally.



Azlin, if you came upon this blog, please know that what I did, i did not do with a willing heart.

Ask Faan...ask Syafiq...they both were there for me. All three of us talked through it and I come to a decision to do this.

It is not whatsoever my intention to hurt you in any way. In fact, what I did was to put you out of harm's way when the shooting starts. I can never forgive myself if you were to get hit in the crossfire.

Some people say i'm too noble for my own good.

I say yeah..i am.

I used to not be like this. Not caring about others, only myself.

But somehow as I grow, this sense of responsibilty enhanced the nobility in me.

This happened a few months ago

but sometimes, i still think about it


and i will always wonder


Did I do the right thing or not?